Swollen to Bursting
Until I Am Disappearing
on Purpose

Swollen to Bursting Until I Am Disappearing on Purpose (2023) is an introspective adventure game where you investigate a crashed UFO in your hometown, but really, it's an abstract look into the struggles of mental health. You explore the town, collecting items called Effects that help you beat enemies and unlock new areas to progress the story. It's an intentionally weird game, full of comically bizarre characters and inexplicable details, yet it touches on serious themes like depression, gender dysphoria, and self-harm.

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You play a postal worker in a town called Vomit, where a UFO has crash-landed, and deliver parcels to the oddball residents. Your goal is to obtain Effects by interacting with people and the environment, such as by winning a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors or picking up litter. In this way, you level up to determine whether you win a fight; for example, to beat the guard blocking the entrance to the UFO, you must be level seven or higher.

As you progress, you explore strange, liminal areas, like the inside of the UFO, which is a sprawling moorland. The narrative becomes increasingly abstract and melancholic, revisiting fragmented memories about self-image and mental health. Depending on your final actions, the narrative ends differently, but they all leave you with something to think about.

The result is a janky yet compelling explorative game that’s more about atmosphere and storytelling than challenging gameplay. Running throughout is a thought-provoking narrative that’s both sad and hopeful.

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Our examiner, Jake Kendall, first checked Swollen to Bursting Until I Am Disappearing on Purpose 7 weeks ago. It was re-examined by Jo Robertson and updated 6 weeks ago.